Session Highlights: Happy Valentine's Day

Love is in the air. Can you feel it? It expands beyond its Hallmark forms, beyond making googly eyes at candlelit dinner, beyond a trail of roses to the bedroom, beyond Swiss milk chocolates snuggled in their red cardboard nests.

This Valentine’s Day I am musing about alternative forms of romance. As I write this, I fantasize about dosing my lover and ravaging their body, having them wake to the ache of bruises and marks that bloom over the course of the day, week, weeks. Romance can take a lot of shapes, and I am grateful to be able to show affection in a myriad of ways.

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Cleo Ouyang back in 2023 for Wussy Magazine, in which I talk about alternative forms of romance. I hope you find a lot of pleasure in this excerpt.

Photo by Toby Finke, with Emmy Lewis

CO: I want you to talk about what you did to your recent client.

EW: Let's call him Krazy Straw, because that's his name these days. He just gets so excited and continually filled with these intense desires to go further and to turn himself into the central engine and ultimate receptacle in a larger system of waste.

It took us some time to develop what it was that he was specifically looking for, because first it was just a session where he was like, “Make me drink your pee and make me eat my own cum.” Classic things, you know, normal boy things. Then it became these more intricate scenarios: “Okay, now call three of your friends with you, let's do a gang bang and let's go ass to mouth and then I'm in bondage and it's inescapable and every time your friends need to pee you dump it into my mouth and make me the center of this piss system.” This “Pisstem.” He's literally an architect. He would draw these very rudimentary schema of how he wanted the systems to go and how he wanted the actors to be within that system. I would be the engineer: gathering all the people together, overseeing the production, making sure that I got funding, making sure that the scaffolding was up, eventually placing him at the center of these very confusing, overwhelming, and elaborate systems.

Our most recent session was very intense. We started at nine in the morning. Two other Dommes came in, and he was put in the middle of this suspension rig with a spanking bench, tied down, mouth held open with a gag. We all took turns, going fast and timing ourselves. We each spent five minutes going in these different permutations; first I was in his ass, and then I transferred my dick to his mouth, and then another one of the Dommes was in his ass while I was in his mouth, and then we would switch and etc. He calculated the number of permutations based on the number of Dommes that were there.

Five minutes and next and five minutes and next. We're fucking back and forth, back and forth. At a certain point, each of us in our various states of excitement decided that we needed to pee. We all put it into a bowl and then I milked him into the same bowl, so his cum was mixed in. We poured the mixture into an enema bag, filled up his butt –

[Cleo is audibly and rhythmically gasping]

Locked the enema bag. Snipped one end of it. So one end of the tube was in his ass. We put the other end in his mouth. Naturally, I made him suck the cum and piss mixture from his own butt.

CO: That is a feat of engineering!

EW: Thank you. I thought so too.

CO: When was the miracle?

EW: The miracle actually was when I walked him to the shower. I looked at him and said “You did really good today. I'm so proud of you.” I don't remember the exact specifics of his reply, but it was along the lines of “I mean this in such good faith when I say: I could only ever do this with you. After all these years, I keep coming back to you for a reason.”

CO: It’s a rom-com. Rain is pouring. You've chased after each other in the airport. And it's like, it's you.

EW: It’s always been you.

CO: It’s always been you. So romantic.

EW: You put enough enemas in the right butts, someday you too can find the one.

You can read the rest of this (very romance-filled) interview at wussymag.com. And while what I have with Krazy Straw is unique to me and him, if being turned into an elaborate vessel by myself and my friends piques your curiosity, I’d like to invite you to apply to serve.

I hope your Valentine’s Day is filled with love, joy, desire, yearning.

Until next time,

Empress Wu